_Sunday, June 21, 2009
I had a dream of my dad last night. It was Hari Raya, and he was driving with us in car for Hari Raya jalan2. He looked very clam in my dream, like how he would have looked if he is still alive today. The moment I opened my eyes today, I realized, today is Father's Day. And I do not have my Father next to me. If he is still alive, most probably, he would have call each of us, and make us wish Happy Father's Day to him. Heh! That's my dad.
Though it has been almost 4 years that he has left us, I could still feel the warmth of his laughter whenever I think of him. It's like he is always where I am, watching over me. It saddens me to think that, while everyone with a father would go out to celebrate Father's Day today, my family will just be sitting at home, doing business as usual.
If my dad were to be alive today, this is what I would have done.
- wake up super early to wish him Happy Father's day, kissing him on the cheek
- while he is away at work, I would drag Mira to buy a Father's Day cake and a nice brown wallet
- that I always thought I would buy for him. Wrapped it up nicely.
- Mom would cook his favourite, sotong hitam and kangkong belacan. Of course, there will be other dishes too
- everything will be laid on the dining table, waiting for him to come home.
- When he get home, we would all wish him Happy Father's Day. I could imagine the happiness radiating through his entire body.
- Then we would all have dinner. And that is when I Mira and Malin would have given the present that we bought for him.
Knowing my father, he would straight away use the wallet. He likes new stuff. Haha. Sigh.....This is a dream that will only remain as a dream.
Bapak, Happy Father's Day. I am hoping against hope that I
could celebrate with you, but I knew that is never gonna happen. As a kid, I
have never proven to you how capable I was. I was stubborn and hard headed. I
never thought, even till now, you won't be here to see us going through adult
hood. Ibu, as usual is doing her best as a mother. Malin will be getting
solemnized in a month's time. And Mira, she is growing up too fast. But I know,
you will forever see us as your little kids. I have missed you so much for the
past 4 years. There were times that I hated you so much for leaving us so soon.
But, most of the times, I would have given anything, just so that I can
feel the warmth of you hug, the sound of your voice and laughter and the sight
of your smile. I love you Bapak. Happy Father's Day. Al-fatehah.
Penned on @ 9:35 AM
