_Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Today was my parents 24th anniversary. I can't tell you how much I love them. Having them is among the most precious possession that any child could have. I do not have a recent picture of them.
See, my dad passed away almost 3 years ago. I have felt the feeling of loss. He was only 53. He was a strict father. We were all scare of him actually. I remembered my first slap on the face when I was 14. I was caught smoking. Stupid me, went to take picture while smoking away. Cried after that. Not because my cheek hurts, but because of the fact that I angered him. That night, I came down with high fever. Even though he was still upset with me, he still took the time to take my medicine and fed me while my mom went to get some wet cloth. I remembered a day in the hospital. He was in ICU, not able to walk. He was still able to talk though. He told me and Malin now that he is sick ,we cannot depend on him to climb the stairs and change the bulbs, we cannot depend on him to help us clean house. And for the first time in 20 years, I saw my father cried. I was in denial. I couldn't stand to see someone that I love so much, the pillar of my family in that state. Till now, I still remembered that day. I cannot forget his face. I love him so much. More than anyone could ever imagine. I admit that I have done many thing to anger him. Steal his cigarettes, sneak out at night. I would give anything just to tell him that I love him. I never got the chance to say that. I love him so much. Even though it has been almost three years, I cannot seem to face the fact that he's gone. It's like he went away for awhile and I am waiting for him to come back. I never had the chance to prove to him that I can be more that what he expect me of. Even though he is gone now, here are a few words.
Bapak, I know that I have disappointed you in many ways and I am so sorry for
that. I just wish that you are here now. Malin is getting engage in a about 2
weeks time. Mira is growing too fast. She has your temper. Ibu is missing you
badly. Though some bad things happened along the way to our family, I just want
you to know that no matter what, you will always be in our hearts. I just want
to tell you that I am sorry for all the hurt and anger that I have caused you.
And for never telling you that I love you so much. I love you Bapak. Al-fatihah.
My mom is among the strongest woman I have ever known. Even went Malin and I caused endless troubles for her, she will always be there for us. After my father passed away, she was hurt. For being left alone. But unlike me, she was able to accept the fact. It was hard on her I know. Malin was still studying then. Mira was only 11. I was unemployed. Ibu stood tall and strong, just to see us through life. I thank her for that. She gets up early, cook for us, went to work, clean the house. I must admit that I did took advantage of her. I was never cleaning house. Just bum around. Still, she stood by me. Followed me to interviews, always praying the best for the children. Even when she is sick, she will still cook for us. Ensure that Mira will always have her meals, her pocket money. Ensure that Malin will have a good rest cos she works long hours. Ensure that I make the right decisions, that I have enough rest so that I won't fall ill. I still remembered when I was 10. I was sleeping when I had a leg cramp. The pain was so unbearable that I screamed in pain. Hearing my pain, Ibu, sleeping in her room, woke up and calm me. She massaged my leg to ease the pain. I remembered the time when she lost her temper and beat the sense out of me. And that night, she cuddled me and said that she love me. Some words for Ibu.
Ibu, I know that you have been praying for the best for me, Malin and Mira. I am
truly sorry for all those times that I have hurt you. Just by giving birth to
me, I am thankful. I cannot imagine my life without you. You know me so well
that even when I am doing something wrong, I feel that you can sense it. I know
that life is hard on you. Even till now, no matter how sick you are, you still
strive through, for the sake of your children. I promise you that I will try to
give you the best of life. I love you Ibu. No words could ever describe how much
as I feel. I love you Ibu.
On a happier note, Malin turned 20 on yesterday, 31st March. Bought her a Balenciaga Bag which cost me my lunch money. Here's a speech to Malin.
You can be the most irritating person on earth. Trying to keep me awake when I
wanna sleep. Making me laugh when I am supposed to be angry. But I thank God
that you are my sister. Though you are only 20, you'll be someone else's soon. I
hope the journey that you are about to take will make you a better person. I
love you adek....
Penned on @ 11:55 PM
